大哥想你了 但大哥不说 大哥希望你对号入座 近期幽默诙谐语录

最近太冷了,我躺在床上瑟瑟发抖,像第一次侍寝的安陵容

It has been so cold recently that I am shivering on my bed, just like an Lingrong who was waiting for his bed for the first time

不想给我点赞就算了 说什么你是奥特曼带着手套点不了

If you don’t want to like me, just say you’re Ultraman and you can’t do it with gloves on

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该知道的都知道 不知道的慢慢了解

I know what I need to know. I don’t know what I need to know

你说有苹果肌的女孩笑起来很自然 难道安卓机的女孩笑起来就很卡

You say the girl with the apple muscles has a natural smile, but the girl with the android phone has a dull smile

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别的女孩再好又怎样 她能有我阴阳怪气吗

So what if the other girl is nice? Can she be as weird as me

拖延症患者人日记:算了明天写吧

PROCRASTINATOR’s Journal: Forget it, write it tomorrow

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喜欢我的扣1 不喜欢我的八千字说明理由

You like my deduction, you don’t like my 8,000-word explanation

我已经有22个小时没发过朋友圈了 怎么样 喜欢我这种沉默寡言的美女吗

I haven’t tweeted in 22 hours, so, what do you think? You like my quiet type

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请别叫我穷人 那样太伤自尊了 请叫我价格敏感型消费者

Please don’t call me poor. It hurts my self-esteem. Please call me a price-sensitive consumer

多谢大家在这一年的照顾和喜欢 这是我应得的

Thank you all for your care and love this year. I deserve it

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近朱者赤近墨者黑,以后请你离我远一点,我不想你也变漂亮

In the future, please stay away from me. I don’t want you to be beautiful

求姻缘应该去哪个寺庙?A、灵隐寺B、弘法寺C、广济寺D、化城寺E、找我试一寺

Which temple should I go to for marriage? A, Lingyin Temple, B, Hong Fat Temple, C, Guangji Temple, D, Hua Cheng Temple, e, ask me to try a temple

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有人问我为什么还不睡 我惊了 我是保安啊 我能睡吗 我睡了这个朋友圈的安全谁来管

Someone asked me why I still do not sleep, I scared, I am security Ah, can I sleep, I slept the safety of this circle of friends who will be in charge

你是城堡里的公主 我是只会比耶的土狗

You’re a princess in a castle, and I’m a Hyena who knows how to fly

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智者不入爱河 有没有人陪我铁锅炖大鹅

Wise Men do not fall in love, there is no one to accompany me pot stew goose

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